Instant Messengers Suck

It all started out okay, but over the past few years, it’s gotten out of hand. Today, wherever you go, you cannot escape the horrid chiming of an instant message. It’s almost getting as bad as cell phones.

For instance. My little brother has become the biggest Instant Messaging whore to ever thrive in the known Multiverse. He is running well over the proper limit of different instant messaging services, including AIM, MSN, and Yahoo, all at once. I know there are many others, albiet not as popular, but probably just as retarded. While instant messaging is much more convienient than say, writing letters, or making phone calls, or heaven forbid, actually hanging out with your little friends and have your circle tea parties, there are many downfalls to “IMing.”

In fact, the way people type on instant messengers is simply horrendous, and archaic. Fortunatly, it doesn’t stop there, and people are only getting dumber and dumber. Not only can people no longer type full sentances for term papers and resumes and such, but now they are starting to speak like brainless idiots. If one more person udders “B.R.B.” to me in real life, I shall destroy them. You are not cool, you are not witty, nor do you have some great communication skills/understanding of computer terms. BRB, LOL, LMAO, TTYL, or any other watered down “L337” speak, has anything to do with computers at all. It’s just all about how idiotic, and how lazy, you are. Don’t congradulate yourself whenever you suddenly discover a new acronym. Nobody likes you.

As for away messages, it’s getting rediculous. Either put something useful in there, or just turn off your Emachine. Nobody wants to see poetry. Nobody wants to know that you went to bed, no matter how witty you can describe it. Nobody really gives a crap about shoutouts either. If you are going to do something productive, get a virus that adds a “click here” link in your info, so that all the other idiots who don’t know what they are doing can click it, and share the wealth. Stop leaving your computer on for six weeks straight just to constantly say you are at work.

But back to my brother. God is he annoying. I can hear every time one of his little friends logs on under another name. Everyone has to use deadaim now, or one of the other spyware programs that “removes visible banners and allows multiple user sign ons so you can stalk people under several names at once” while providing invisible spyware on your system. Then he sits over there, giggling to himself, typing like a madman, pounding at the keys like it’s life or death. Nobody cares about your retarded friends. Why don’t you go hang out with them in traffic instead of clogging up my bandwith.

There were once some kids in high school I knew, they were the outcasts, but they hated instant messaging. If only I were smarter than. Man, I’m so great.

The sounds Instant Messengers make cause me to vomit.



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