Don’t Vote

Don’t know who to vote for?  Then don’t!

Think you already have a firm decision?  Forget it!

Everyone seems so hot and bothered about the upcoming presidential elections.  Some people are crying over how we should keep Bush, these are usually the old people, while the rest are hugging trees and saying vote out Bush.  For all of you who cannot make decisions for yourself, I have come up with this easy little chart so you can make your choice no matter what you expect to see in a president!


Bush:  Bad Idea
Kerry:  Bad Idea

Hmmm, see?  That wasn’t so hard!  Don’t vote for either!

Bush is an oblivious idiot, while Kerry is a sissy nancy boy trying to get people to like him.  Bush is saying that if Congress does not make a tax cut, the world will end and nobody will have a job, even though the tax cut will cost over one trillion dollars after ten years.  Kerry on the other hand pictures himself like Robin Hood, and dresses in green tights to tax the rich and give it to the poor.  Just what the poor need; a little monetary handicap.  Maybe they should just get a job instead, and not waste it on cable tv and crappy clothing.  Bush wants to burn more of his oil, while Kerry would rather tickle the gullets of hippies and not pollute, but instead, recycle, which in turn, pollutes more than just throwing your plastic milk jugs away.

George Bush plays his game of foreign policy much like most people play Starcraft.  They start out with allies, and later piss them off enough and declare war on them just to get their resources.  He also refered to his war on terrorism a “Crusade,” which, obviously, is a big no no when you are refering to the middle east.  The W. must stand for Wetarded.  As far as Kerry goes, he just wants to make friends and hug and kiss more butt, and let others make the decision for him.

Bush of course giggles at the thought of war, giving him a little legislative branch of justice in his pants.  Kerry also once said he was pro-war, but when he found out that W. was also pro-war, he changed his mind.

Now also, take into consideration, that not only do we have people voting for Curious George and John “The Chin” Kerry, but there is also a large group of people under the “anybody but Bush” demographic.  When they say anybody, they mean anybody.  Nero, Napolean, Hitler, Toucan Sam, Tom Green, Carrot Top, George Lucas’s butt, and even Satan, would be able to be valid candidates.  Who wants to take all this into consideration though?  You all have jobs, most of you at least, you all have better things to worry about!  Take my advice, and spread it around like you spread all of your MTV gossip.  Don’t vote!   If nobody votes, none of these losers win, and that means America wins.  It’s so obvious.  Don’t be blinded by those ads promoting voting, no matter how famous the washed up actors and actresses are!  There are very few times I can say this, but I have faith in you people!  Join my campaign, and Don’t Vote!

If you would like to declare yourself a part of my kick ass “not me not now” anti-voting campaign, please leave me a comment, and I will post our rankings.  Remember, for this to work, we need every United States citizen who is able to vote to not bother!


Don’t Vote!  Your say was never taken seriously anyway.



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