For all you who care, this has been a pretty rough week for gamers. Bill Gates repetitivly poked at Nintendo of America, offering his dirty money to purchase the century old gaming company. Fortunatly, Nintendo chuckled at the little awkward standing man. The same little man who only over a year ago gleefully stated in an interview that he never had any interests in video gaming until the release of his nickle tickling Xbox, because before the Xbox, games never had enough power behind them to suit his shallow interests. Frankly, his wife said the same thing about him.
But let’s not dwell on what’s over, let’s dwell on something that should’ve been over two thousand years ago. Now, I might not be quite big enough as far as ratings and demographics to go up against both an entire website, religion, and social downfall, but none the less, I must defend what is truly right. I ask viewers to proceed to the following website, and read the article. I must remind you that this article is somewhat old, in fact, it’s roughly in the 16-bit era.
All done? Good. Make sure you at least tried to read it all now!
This is why religion is a bad thing. Evidently, according to this lovely well writen article, Satan is hanging around game publishing companies and making games and somehow getting them onto the market to confuse and provoke us to go to hell. He also sits around listening to Nine Inch Nails and studying C++ and 3D modeling/texturizing so he can program even better games. So in other words, Satan has alot of time on his hands. For being someone of his stature, I would have thought he’d be a little too snobby to sit around and worry about the kind of games people like. Maybe someday he’ll branch off and make his own company… Oh, wait, he did… He bought Electronic Arts.
While you are reading this, hundreds of thousands of Satanists are listening to rock on the radio, wearing black, watching tv, consuming meat, littering, and fragging their best friends in video games. It sounds like it’s too late for us all. The only way to stop this is to go to church weekly, fall into line and become a strict Christian, and redeem yourself, because it’s the right choice. Expression and difference of opinion is wrong, remember that kids. If you happen to see a Satanic mark in any of your games, splash holy water on your computer. You can purchase holy water from your local walmart, under the label Sam’s Choice.
I was going to cover this more, but religion gives me the craps. Just remember, you can’t say anything bad like me, or you will go to hell. Maybe there will be good LAN games down there! My Avatar is 1up! See you there fragbait!