Good morning everyone. And what a good morning it is. It’s Sunday morning, for those of you who cannot figure out a calendar. Sweet Jebus I’m tired. Honestly though, there are many things to get excited over. First of all, yesterday morning was an open house here at O-state. This is usually a time of wretchedness, with stingy mothers and questioning fathers circling around the campus with high expectations. I was here, in the computer art lab, working on a project. A mother and her son walked into the lab, without me knowing, and stood behind me. Oh Dear Quad, was that a commercial of a Carebear singing, “Let’s get Physical?” I hope it eats children. Anyways, back to my story. So the obnoxious mother of the soon to be freshman scared the bunkum out of me. “Excuse me, but maybe you can help out my son?” Being the nice guy I am, I agreed to supply any information they might request of my genius. I explained the lab to them, as being one of the most impressive labs a college could have, and by far the best in any SUNY School. I listed the applications that we run, and talked a little about the computer art major. The son seemed interested. I asked him if he was planning on being a computer art major. He looked up at his mother. She scowled like George Bush, only her teeth somehow came out of her cheek when she did. Oh, wow, a commercial conveying dancing actors in giant foam food costumes…the man in the wheat bread costume just sang out that he makes “normal poop.” Alright, back to the mean woman. She made a face of utter disgust. “My son is interested in being an engineer. There’s no money in art.” Well, you stuck up begetting woman, don’t forget Pixar Animation Studios, DreamWorks, Blue Sky, Square, and the thousands and thousands of independent artists who are both happy and well off. I should have told her, well, I’m preparing for my internship at Pixar this winter, but my starting pay is only $45 an hour. While, that is not actually happening to me, it does happen. Maybe someday. I can’t stand Sunday morning TV. You know what’s on Sunday morning TV? Wrestling and Religion, the two most overrated things in the known Universe. Wrestling and Religion pretty much go hand in hand I suppose, you can’t have one without the other. Nobody really cares about either, yet there are some fanatics out there who can give you every single stat of one or the other. What has wrestling done for me? More importantly, what has religion done for me? I’d rather spend all of my money on cardboard party hats before I give a smidgen to some big invisible guy’s church. “But proof denies faith…” I’ll deny my faith whenever I see no proof. Those monks who were put in their little monk pajamas in their monk sweatshops certainly were cleaver when they copied the Bible. They put tiny little subliminal messages to tell us that this entire religion thing was nothing more than a giant marketing plan, but some people haven’t read between the lines yet. We’ve gone down hill for the past two thousand years. Sad really. Or, right, I have my bad news. I’m graduating this year. I’m out of here in May, thus meandering nomadically into the real world. In 214 days, I will no longer be a part of the educational system. I suppose I’ll just have to start my global takeover. So the countdown starts now. 214 days.
