Crash and Save

It has been a while since I’ve posted. Let me make up for it with a little song. It’s still a work in progress. It goes to the tune of Savage Garden’s Crash and Burn, and yes, it’s about a wonderful little grocery store.

When there’s wheels on your home
And the government pays for all your food
You hair is filled with fleas, and you smell like a fart
I know you feel like it’s such a pain to bathe sometimes
It’s hard to brush your teeth, I know, and your smell is oh so bold.
Well pull into our parking lot when you feel like you need to save a lot

Let us be the place you shop
When you drop stuff, I will get the mop
Call clean up in aisle two and you can watch me work
If you need to buy green beans
and there’s crap caked into your jeans
Satisfaction guaranteed if you shop
at Save Alot

If you dropped out of school
after struggling to learn to count to ten
or you snuck in from Mexico
with a bounty on your head
When hopes and dreams are all you got
then you might as well come to Save Alot

Let me ring your groceries up
I’ll hold my breath and suck it up
Might throw up or die because of your ungodly musk
If you weigh 12-hundred pounds
try our Little Debbie Fudge Rounds
Use welfare cash then crash your car
into our carts

Because here we are gluttons for pain
And tomorrow we’ll be here again
You are my bane…

When you feel miserable
and you want someone else to feel your pain
Give a disgruntled rant
To the kid putting up stock

If you want to save a lot
Step right in, see what we’ve got
It’s a thrill but we’ve got no frills and no healthcare plans
If you feel you need to save
40% or more off everyday
Satisfaction guaranteed if you shop
at Save Alot



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