Merry Christmas, if that’s okay.

For those of you who remember the adventures of Mike, Crow, and Tom Servo as they drift through time and space in the Satellite of Love, on the series Mystery Science Theater 3000, you may remember this little Christmas Carol that they performed on episode 521.

Actually, it’s not really a Christmas Carol, as it is for holidays of all faiths. And we cannot call it a Carol, because Carol is a woman’s name, and the song is meant to be all-inclusive.

Let us all now sing our praises to the Lord today!
Although you may not share our beliefs system,
Which is perfectly okay.
Maybe you worship an abstract being that is kind of vague
Or maybe you just worship a guy who’s name is Greg
Perhaps your religion doesn’t include a time called ‘Lent’
But whatever your religion is, we support you 100 percent!
So sit around the fire
And have a chestnut roast
Or raise a glass in toast
To Happy Day’s Donnie Most!
But if you prefer to eat Indian food on Christmas Day,
I can only shrug my shoulders and say “Namuste”
Personally I prefer
Turkey, gravy and salad,
But let’s never forget;
All cultures are valid!
So let’s have peace on earth and cut out all the bull.
Let’s have a holiday season that’s multi-cultural.
If there’s one point we’d like to make
With this festive holiday song,
It’s that Christmas comes
Just once a year
So for a few days
For crying out loud!
Can we all just get along?!?

And I’m not pointing any fingers, but the BIOS to my new computer got all swatched up. If it so happens that one of you meatbags out there are to blame, prepare to face my anger wraith.

Merry Christmas Everyone!

“It’s Christmas at Ground Zero, and if the radiation level’s okay, I’ll go out with you and see all the new mutations on New Year’s day!”
~Weird Al Yankovic



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