I Don’t Want to Grow Up

After watching “A New Hope” today with Michael and Jennn, which occurred after the three of us consumed one large stuffed-crust pizza and an order of boneless chicken balls and cheesy bread, the three of us took on a whirlwind adventure at the Small Mall. Before I go any further, I feel I need to say that I love the dynamic duo that is Michael and Jennn. They are last remaining threads of hope that I have for humanity, and if it weren’t for them, there would be absolutely nobody as cool as they are on the planet.

So we mosey and stroll and gander in the mall. There are roughly six stores in the mall, and only three are worth going to. It works like a quirky RPG, like a small checkpoint town that holds the standard, bare-minimum requirement of local shop, though if you want a full set of heavy armor, you will have to go elsewhere. There’s a book store, a Radio Shack, a meager (yet surprisingly adequate) console game store, and a Kaybee Toys. The rest of the shops aren’t worth glancing into.

I had initial plans to purchase a used copy of Sonic Advance 2 for the GBA. Wholeheartedly, I understood that I had gone entirely through that game nearly a dozen times, I felt it would be a good addition to my GBA library, since my DS would play it, and I still very much enjoy that game. Of course, then I saw that Starfox Assault went down to forty bucks. Of course, that is for the Gamecube, and mine is at home, so I will wait. Then a red glimmer caught my eye. A red glimmer with a long pink cape. Is that? Could it be? Viewtiful Joe! Viewtiful Joe; Double Trouble, on the Nintendo DS! One credit card transaction later, it was in the bag.

We then wandered into Kaybee. Ah, action figures. The toys of yester-decade. And then, I saw her. She stood behind the counter at Kaybee as I checked the back wall for any other games. I am looking very forward to Mario Kart DS. She noticed I had Viewtiful Joe in my bag, and cheerfully told me that she played that game at E3.

Let me repeat that, for those of you who have no use for a towel yet and a clean set of pants.

She played Viewtiful Joe on the Nintendo DS at E3.

You can’t put that sort of thing on cable, it’s so hot. She was, from memory, slightly taller than me, I had guessed maybe a year or two older, and definitely the stereotypical girl who works at a toy store. Absolutely Viewtiful! She wouldn’t stop talking to me about video games, and I could barely handle the notion that she gets to go to E3 every year. After leaving Kaybee, it was only a matter of time before I had to go back. After a short panic attack with Mike and Jennn, I returned to Kaybee, armed with a piece of paper and a pen, ready to jot down my screen name. For once, I had met a girl who had something to say that was intelligent and worth listening to. We easily discussed the latest games, and found out we were both very excited about Elderscrolls; Oblivion, and Mario Kart DS, and the Nintendo Revolution. She seemed very nice, and I remember thinking that perhaps if I give her my screen name that she would be very flattered.

She began talking about the people she met at E3. Many of which I knew of, such as the cast of the cable television network “G4.” Then, I caught the warning word. One little word that means absolutely bunk to me, yet widely influences the way I sum up a person. In the midst of her amazing E3 adventure story, my brain snapped as she uttered the word, “husband.”

Like a tiny rocket, my point of view shifted down to her hand, which had been resting on a stack of the new Mario Party games. Ring.


You all suck.



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