Oh man! You should have seen the look on your face! I was all like, “I’m going to start acting stupid like every single one of you and join a Greek Life organization, and listen to shitty music, and adore petty things,” and you were all like, “OMG Lynk, dOnT dO iT!!!!!11111 LOL OMG BuT sErIoUsLy U R R GOD and We CaNt LiVe WiThOuT U!!!!!111”

Well, my faithful little mutton-headed clods, that was an April Fool’s joke. I was going to post a rumor that I had died in some horrible accident involving beefsteak and q-tips, but I didn’t need any of you making ritual self-sacrifices, did I? Hmmm, actually…

Anyways, I’m doing well. No, I would never become the half-witted kind of person that the rest of you block-headed dullards are. U2 is quite possibly the worst band ever, along with Good Charlotte, Simple Plan, Fall Out Boy, Brand New, and every single stupid poppy, punky, “we’re so scene” band out there. I hope punk rock and all of it’s followers get swallowed up by their own incongruity. In other words, you stink.

I wouldn’t join Greek life, because that would just make me worthless to society.
Are you Greek and you know it? You’re no good. Exclusions? Sure! I’ll exclude that Multicultural sorority… oh wait, no I won’t. They suck too. Don’t even get me started with that one. That’s just an oxymoron. Why would you start some clingy girl’s club and call it multicultural, and then make it a Greek Sorority. Sounds a bit biased? I forgot, you are probably too dumb to realize what that means.
For some reason, I want to also add that Rugby players irritate me.
What the hell is Rugby anyways? Sounds bland.

Did I mention I got a cell phone? No? I didn’t? That’s because I don’t need one to compensate for my lack of confidence. When I walk down the street, I don’t need to look like I’m popular by holding a cheap plastic chunk of overpriced garbage. I’ll carry a Gameboy, or a Nintendo DS, but not a worthless cell phone.

And for all of you who’s names start with a vowel or a letter that rhymes with Tree or Ray, I hate you.

Whoa, wait a second. Let’s settled down here.

Compose yourself Lynk.

Well, tomorrow I’m going back to Oneonta, thank the Aliens who created us. I’ll be able to sleep in my own bed with the big 4 inch thick foam mattress, by the open window, with the Moonlight Sonata playing, accompanied by the sound of ocean waves, recorded on a high fidelity bitrate on my MP3 stereo. I’ll be able to wake up without being yelled at before opening my eyes, I won’t have to deal with anyone standing behind me analyzing my every choice, judging me by the order in which I brush my teeth and comb my hair and take my shower. I’ll be able to take a shower whenever I want without being lectured about how it’s not right to take a shower in the morning after 9am. I’ll be back to my happy place, and although I’ll be swamped with work, I’ll be happy.

I’ve got much coming up in the next few weeks. There’s the talent show this month, I think it’s the 13th. Wow, that’s coming up soon then. I’m amped. I have several thousand art assignments, all needing to be finished. I have another Guild Wars beta, and the release of the game, which I am piqued and stirred for. Unfortunately, there might not be much time for that until this summer. There will be three pool parties a week at the chase gym, hosted by yours truly, and man, I can’t wait to get back to that good ol’ college cookin’ yum.

Well everybody, except those I mentioned above in my rant, goodnight.


I read your livejournal, are you calling me a little mutton-headed clod? And the only ritual self-sacrifice I would have made in the event of your death would be to lug the particular things of yours, that I wanted, out of your room and all the way over to mine.

U2 isn’t the worst band ever… Hawthorne Heights is definitely worse than they are, and if you don’t believe me, then I will play you some. I am not a “follower” of pop punk, but I do enjoy some of it, like Sum 41 (not extremely talented blahdy-blah, but they entertain me, that’s all I ask).

Not everything is terrible about the existence of Greek Life, without fraternities and sororities those people would live on campus, do you want that? There is absolutely nothing wrong with rugby, or its players in general. Our neighbor Rachel Case is a rugby player, and I enjoy Rachel Case. Rugby is a delightfully vicious sport without helmets or padding; it’s what American football wants to be.

I hate cellphones, but in their defense, they are greatly needed by the business world. I’m not defending snobby fuckface businessmen, but business efficiency. And cellphones are not definitely not useless. A cellphone is as good as the person using it. I have witnessed terrible car accidents with my family and we have pulled over to see if everyone was okay, and when they weren’t, there was nothing we could do, because we didn’t have a cellphone to contact help. Like it or not, cellphones can save lives.

Al Yankovic. His name starts with a vowel and a letter that rhymes with Ray. I don’t think he’d be happy to hear that you hate him. And the letter J rhymes with Ray, as well. It’s not wise to hate someone who lives with you. I’ll soak your door in gasoline and replace all the moving parts of your doorknob with flint.

And I’m upset that you don’t wish me a goodnight.

All I’m saying is that perhaps you should be less hateful, and that a more specific rant, opposed to a blind one, would be more constructive.

~Mister Jones


Video gamers irritate me, Lynk. If you want to make fun of bands, make fun of those who deserve it. Good Charlotte, fine. Simple Plan, go ahead, they are sell outs. U2, leave them alone. Fall Out Boy doesn’t deserve any mentioning in your list either, so leave them alone.
I enjoy my cell phone, so leave me be. It keeps me connected to people with out a computer (hint, hint, wink, wink…)

If I really felt like it, I would keep going. But I don’t. So there.

Thanks for the defense Jones 🙂

Lynk, you’re going down.



my roommate is gonna kick your ass.

~Kath, Rachel’s roommate

I believe she did beat me up for it.



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