Top ‘O the Mornin’ to you, you potato picking bastard!
Today is the day everybody is Irish. Every single Long Islander, every single Italian, every single college student suddenly pulls out and plays the Nationalism card. Today everyone is an O’Reilly and everyone is a professional drinker. I want to flick Lucky Charms at every single person wearing green.
People have been out at the bars since 7:00 am this morning. I have already had to deal with listening to the Drop Kick Murphy’s and Floggin’ Molly’s.
I hope you all drink until your livers die, and those left standing fight each other to the death.
Nationalism is one of the most obnoxious concepts in the world. Maybe it was important back in the medieval times, but most Medieval Times serve the crappiest food anyways. I enjoy telling people how much Irish punk sucks, and how much St. Patrick’s Day sucks; because then they sadly tell me that they are Irish. Oh yeah? Did you just get off the boat, or are you just looking for another way to fit in. Just like Greek Life. Don’t even get me started on how asinine that is.

At least it’s the best day on campus to do laundry.