It’s Okay to Fail

I like to talk a pretty big game when it comes to self-improvement, being productive, and sticking to my personal goals. it’s easy to look and sound competent when you only need to be accountable towards yourself. Mistakes lead to excuses, excuses lead to rule-bending, and before you know it you are off the rails.

I’ve made a lot of promises to myself, even on this blog. I’ve started goals and projects, only for them to fizzle out. Some of them were left to fail for other priorities, others just evaporated. While there isn’t an incomplete lack of progress for some of my goals, I’ve been disappointed with my progress enough that it’s kept me from writing about them in an open forum. So, I’m going to do just that.

How’s That Weight Loss Thing?

Back in August I started a very low-carb regimen, eating only about 50-70 grams of carbs each day while drinking 80-100 ounces of water. It went great for a while. I dropped about 11-12 lbs over several weeks, averaging about 2.5 lbs each week, as I expected. However, it stopped. It started with a cheat meal, and then turned into an unproductive purgatory of constantly dieting and constantly making exceptions. I’ve found that the little exceptions are what kills it dead – a planned cheat day every few weeks is one thing, but those little exceptions that bring me over on a regular basis halt the weight loss.

To do it right, I need to hit it hard and be relentless.

It’s Not All Bad, and That’s the Problem

The only person I’m really failing is myself, but that’s not acceptable. That said, it doesn’t really matter if I mess up. It just means if I truly want to hit my goal, I need to start over. I have to eat my breadless sandwiches and sad tuna salad yet again and gain all of that momentum back. So while it doesn’t seem like there is a time limit, and it doesn’t seem like a lot is on the line and that I need to gleam the cube to get this done, it actually should be urgent.

Every time I diet and flake out, I have to diet again. And again. Being in a perpetual state of unhappiness with yourself, combined with a seemingly perpetual state of avoiding your favorite foods wears the soul. It’s harder and harder to fix and build that motivation as time goes on. It won’t be easier a year from now, it will just be harder to try again. I don’t want to talk about this goal or avoid eating a burrito, I want to get to where i want to be and just worry about maintaining it, which is far more manageable.

I’m removing the stigma of talking about the failures, but I don’t want to fuck things up any longer.

What’s the Plan, Stan?

I’m going to go back to my < 50, > 100 routine.

(That’s shooting for less than 50g of carbs and drinking 100oz or more of water each day, but I’m not counting the carbs in low-carb vegetables like broccoli, because if I creep over a little by mowing down on a bowl of steamed broccoli, fuck you and your numbers)

This time, I’m not doing it alone. Friends and co-workers are joining me with their own weight loss goals. Some will be doing the same thing, others will have their own routine, but we are all doing it together and being accountabilibuddies.

I’ve sold everyone on the idea of using Habitica, a website and app that gamifies habit building. I’ve used it on and off for years, but this is the first time I’m using it with other people I interact with regularly, which should help a lot. I’m going to build out a tutorial on using it since not everyone is as pure nerd as I am.

Got Anything Else Going On?

Oh boy, do I. I mentioned this on Twitter a few days ago, but I’m going to officially start a gaming channel on YouTube. I’m pretty stoked. There isn’t much to prepare, but I’m not going to officially launch it for a while because I am moving soon (another announcement!) and I want to get settled before making it a regular thing. Still, here’s the logo in all its glory:

Game Casting Couch

I’m going to leave you with that. Let your imagination go wild.



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