7th Hell

Once the initials of a few of the Gods of the Entertainment industry, WB now stands for Weak Bitchlings. For me, Warner Brothers used to mean Loony Tunes, Bugs Bunny, WWII political animation, and hundreds of short yet timeless classics. Today, WB stands for a channel of pure excreta.

The Warner Bros. Channel, shortened so the retarded can chime its name with the best of them to WB, proves that TV is nothing but a devoid wasteland of blandness. Such acclaimed programs such as Dawson’s Creek, One Tree Hill, Smallville, Everwood, and the grandfather of all that which is insipidly politically correct yet grossly mind numbing, 7th Heaven.

7th Heaven has all the bad content and dialogue of a Soap Opera, with drama worse than a reality show. It stars a large Christian family in which the father is a priest. This of course, is a bad idea. While each show portrays the ever evolving life of all seven characters, not to mention special guest stars, temporary neighbors, friends, and antagonists, every episode contains a similar message. The moral of course is this futile little idea that no matter who is having an abortion, no matter which 13 year old is pregnant, no matter who got drunk and murdered the girlfriend’s sister, it is all a part of God’s big plan. Little Ruthy got an STD from sleeping around and spread it all across town? God’s plan. The boyfriend accidentally bunted one of the newborns into a lake and then laughed in the face of the mother? God’s plan. Why isn’t it a part of God’s great plan to end this show?

Unfortunately, the scenarios in the show are not nearly as entertaining as the ones I mentioned above. Instead there are serious, mind-thumping issues like abortion, gun control, and everything else that would be included in a high school student’s debate project. 7th Heaven has the plot of an after-school special with the brains of WWF Wrestling. TV no longer needs shows like 7th Heaven. Morals are out. If people need to watch the Camden family solve their insignificant problems for inspiration, a moral at the end is not going to help. Perhaps Jessica Biel should take her shirt off more often. That would solve many problems.



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