What horrible danger has been unleashed upon the Earth? What is this mysterious form that lingers ominously in the sky, emanating darkness from one side and blinding light from the other? Why it’s none other than yours truly, the Viewtiful Lynk! The God Quad Community is seventy percent completed, and rising. I got one more member who needs to get his account fixed up and we are good to go, baby.
Tonight is Saturday, and you know what that means…
Actually, you do not know what that means, but I will tell you, in a round about way, as an excuse to provide you with a quick bio about me and my awe-inspiring ways.
It all started over two decades ago…
In a galaxy far far away. In fact, light from this galaxy has not quite reached the Earth yet. That’s how far away it is.
You know, I think I’m going to skip this part for now. Remind me someday, I’ll get back to it.
I’m here, poking at my fourth year at college, studying as a Computer Art major at Oneonta State. I enrolled originally as a Music Industry major, but who really cares about that crap? I soon decided Music in general is not even a very good thing to simply major in, and decided to get into the fastest growing field in the world. No, not a professional indiscriminate mass email publisher, but a computer art major. I have no direct focuses, basically trying out a little bit of everything. The software I’ve been wiping my feet on includes Photoshop, Painter 8, Bryce 5, Paint Shop Pro (which is by far my favorite), and I’m currently learning Maya and Flash MX. As a matter of fact, I’m in the computer art lab right now, getting paid for guarding the lab from evildoers…and watching cartoons…ahh, life is good.
Besides my insane computer luck/bad luck and perhaps skill, and my art, I also have music. I’m a cello jamming, guitar hating, keyboard pounding, mad solo accordionist, and that is another feature that makes me better than you. I’ve met Weird Al, I’ve played for Weird Al, I’ve been called “Weird,” by Weird Al.
Beyond that, I’m the world’s most dedicated video gamer, but I didn’t need to even mention that, did I? Perhaps I’m not THE most dedicated, I don’t have a half hour record set for a speed run of Megaman 3. I do have a soul. Trust me though; I’ve played more video games than Paris Hilton’s been in locker rooms. I’ve stomped more Goomba than you’ve blinked. I’ve saved your world and others more than your ex-girlfriend has put out. Is that even comprehensible?
I think not. I am incomprehensible. Viewtiful.