The Prologue (and a Warning Label)

It would be wise for you, dear reader, to tread lightly through this website as I populate it with my brain-words. There are going to be combinations of letters and blank spaces that will confuse, concern, and very likely offend you. I urge you to try not to let that happen because although I relish in ruining the world-view of the less cognitively flexible, I hate explaining the punchline. Which, in some cases, might very well be you.

It’s Gonna Get Ranty All Up In Here!

On the books, I’m generally a pretty decent guy. I may have a raw, low-spectrum disdain for most humans, but there are filters that keep me in check. Unfortunately, over time these filters start to get clogged and need to be hosed down. That is the purpose of my blog.

They got my dick message!

I’ve found over the years when I write, I broadcast towards a different audience than I expect to have. If you are spending your time here on my site enjoying what I pass as stream of consciousness prose, I appreciate it. I also hope that you don’t feel I’m sticking you in the same category as the persona I’m addressing. You like this shit? You subscribe? You are a beautiful specimen of your kind, and surely your superior genetics will bear many industrious children. When I insist that you the reader is a dumdum, I am talking to that other guy (or gal). No, to clarify further, I’m referring to the general population outside of our little circle: the general population, the nameless median, the very same ape descendants that inconvenience YOU at every junction. We’re wholly united in this vast sea of muggles.

We're cool now, right?

So what are we taking from this?

  • I’m kind of an asshole.
  • But I’m like, some kind of freedom-fighting vigilante asshole?
  • Or maybe I just need a place to rant about how idiotic many humans are?

Whatever, you either get it or you don’t.

There’s Going to Be Some Geek Stuff

I’m kind of a huge nerd. Oh, and although I acknowledge the differences between “nerds” and “geeks,” I use the terms interchangeably as I am an agent of both houses.

Worst Gif Ever

I’m going to date myself here, but I’m from a time when being into super heroes, video games, science fiction, weird music, and animation were social debuffs. I’m practically a walking Wikipedia on Nintendo. Growing up, I never got invited to Dungeons & Dragons games because I was too much of a dork and wanted to talk about alien conspiracies the whole time.

Of course, since then the world has changed and I’ve embraced it for the most part. There’s always certain moments where crushing anxiety prevents me from telling the other participant of a first date that I can name hundreds of Pokémon in a song while playing my accordion, but natural selection seems to be unfavorable because I manage to let it slip anyway.

I know there are others who are stuck in the 90’s and still struggle with this. There’s no shortage of inspirational heroes in the geek community, but I am more than willing to volunteer my time to provide aid.

I’m a Motivating, Thought-Leading, Life-Hacking, Productivity-Driving Son of a Bitch

Here’s where I say something about how life is a journey and you need to embrace the day and sitting for too long will kill you. Let’s be honest with each other: the only shit that matters is the shit that matters to you. Although I’d be more than happy to inspire others, and maybe I will, I’m going to be using this site to track my own progress towards my goals and establish accountability.

I'm in lesbians with you

In other words, if I were you, I’d be pretty freaking annoyed at all this.

Still, I’ve got a lot to say, a lot to try, and it’s not like it’s hard to publish it.

Did You Get All That?

Let’s summarize for the TL;DR crowd:

  • I’m kind of an asshole, but don’t take it seriously. Embrace it.
  • I’m going to geek out about lots of things.
  • I’ll be tracking my self-improvement and exploring what I’ve learned.

Look at that! We’ve hit the holy trinity of blog topics.




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