There’s Something About Mary

The somewhat unknown, unpopular tribal religion known as Christianity has been known to be somewhat crazy when it comes to their figure heads. Sometimes, their major players will “show up” in every day life, so that followers of the religion can still have hope of a big jolly man floating in the sky. These icons show up when people mow their lawn, vomit, and when they skip sunday church. It’s practically an imaginary invasion. An example of this occurred about ten years ago, when Diana Duyser decided to eat a Grilled Cheese Sandwich. After only enjoying one bite of the greasy, crunchy meal, she realized that her sandwich was tainted by an intruder. Behold, looking up at her, was the result of the wrath of Christianity, an image of the Virgin Mary. Of course, Mary’s title is up in the air, for after all, she gave birth to some guy who enjoyed stomping around in puddles, hanging around on sticks, and just generally causing a ruckus where ever he went. When baby Jesus was born, nine months after the Bethlehem High Prom, around Christmas, the shepard asked young Mary who knocked her up, and she was too embarrassed to admit it was the son of the baker. The son of the baker was an ugly, and very ignorant man, who could only do one thing; bake. In fact, it was nothing more than sympathy for Mary. Anyways, what I’m trying to say is, Baby Jesus never found out his father was a Master Baker. Say that sentence to yourself a few times for me. Good.

So the Virgin Mary has been found on a grilled cheese sandwich, oh, the irony. It’s ten years old, and still edible. I’d love to buy the most expensive grilled cheese sandwich in the world, and then go to Church to eat it. Imagine how awesome I’d be. It looks more like Madonna to me. I’m sure you know how it is though, the Christians have their way again. Spoiled little brats…
I have found my own amazing grilled cheese sandwich. Just this morning, while making some BLT’s, I stumbled across a sandwich that looks remarkably like the Olsen Twins. Eat this Virgin Mary, my sandwich is so much better than yours!

Son! That is fucked up! The son of a baker, who can only shamefully do one thing: bake. You brought up good points. And yes, I read the WHOLE thing. No skimming this time. You have very interesting points. I love you! I finally figured out how to get the picture for live journal. In order to save the file and it would be jpg, I had to save it under my documents in Microsoft word. And it worked! I’m proud of myself considering the limited knowledge I posess. Take care son. Behave and stop causing a “ruckus!”


By the way, what a coincidence, I just started going to church. Haha! What an excellent time to put up an entry such as this one.




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