Girls, Volume 2

I was actually going to treat you all to a little song. But no. That would be forgiving of me. Instead, let me entertain you with a little list of things I hate.

I hate college girls. All college girls. There is a difference between college girls and girls who attend a college. Let me explain. A college girl is brain dead. How she can even manage to breathe is beyond me. These are the types who wear enough makeup to look like a Goth Ronald McDonald. They usually carry a cell phone or two, and can hardly cause it to function. Usually they stick metal pop icons into places like their naval, tongue, or put about 129 rings on their body between their ears and their fingers alone. High matainence as a Dell Computer, and with the same 3 hour warrenty. The type who plaster every surface of their room and door with magazine pages of what the media pounds into our heads as the minimum requirements of beauty. So evidently, they are shallow as well. They are trying to state, “If you aren’t that airbrushed perfume model, you are not good enough to associate with me.” Well I say it is you, shallow rocket scientist, who should be shot out a small hole in a space craft.

Of course, if you actually were one of these people, you wouldn’t be able to read this far, because you forgot how to read so you could remember how to take your birth control every day. You sicken me. As stated before, you are shallow, mindless, and above all else, downright ugly. Go cry and listen to your Christina Agulara, and go throw up a few times. After that, things will start to feel better. And then go and drink, until you get into a coma, and then go flatline. Much abliged.



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